An Open Letter To The Red States

Dear Red States:

If we lose the 3rd Presidential Election in a row, we've decided we're leaving. We intend to form our own country, and we're taking the other Blue States with us.

In case you aren't aware, that includes Hawaii, Oregon, Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and all the Northeast. We believe this split will be beneficial to the nation, and especially to the people of the new country of New California.

To sum up briefly: You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states.

We get stem cell research and the best beaches.

We get the Statue of Liberty. You get Dollywood. We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom...or what's left

We get Harvard. You get Ole' Miss.

We get 85 percent of America's venture capital and entrepreneurs. You get Alabama.

We get two-thirds of the tax revenue, you get to make the red states pay their fair share.

Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower than the Christian Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families. You get a bunch of obese single teenage moms.

Please be aware that Nuevo California will be pro-choice and anti-war, and we're going to want all our citizens back from Iraq at once. If you need people to fight, ask your evangelicals. They have kids they're apparently willing to send to their deaths for 'God's War' on 'The Others', and will deem you 'unpatriotic' if you disagree with their neo-conservative point of view.  We do wish you success in Iraq, and hope that the WMDs turn-up and you secure all of those oil sources and military bases, but we're not willing to spend our lives and resources in Bush-ney's egomaniacal, misguided, and manipulative political agenda.

With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm control of 80 percent of the country's fresh water, more than 90 percent of the pineapple and lettuce, 92 percent of the nation's fresh fruit, 95 percent of America's quality wines (you can serve French wines at state dinners - what irony), 90 percent of all cheese, 90 percent of the high tech industry, most of the U.S. low-sulfur coal, all living redwoods, sequoias and condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools, plus Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT.

With the Red States, on the other hand, you will have to cope with 88 percent of all obese Americans (and their projected health care costs), 92 percent of all U.S. mosquitoes, nearly 100 percent of the tornadoes, 90 percent of the hurricanes, 99 percent of all Southern Baptists, virtually 100 percent of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones University, Clemson and the University of Georgia.

We get Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you. Additionally, 38 percent of those in the Red states believe Jonah was actually swallowed by a whale, 62 percent believe life is sacred (unless we're discussing the Iraq war, the death penalty or gun laws), 44 percent say that evolution is only a theory, 53 percent that Saddam was involved in 9/11 and 61 percent of you crazy bastards believe you are people with higher morals superior to we lefties.

By the way, we're taking the good pot, too. You can have that dirt weed they grow in Mexico.

Peace out,

Blue States

Sunday Morning & The Political Campaign Landscape

A friend's brother writes...

The Political Campaign Landscape and WHY
I am going to drop out of the current politics and do drugs:

I HAVE VOTED ...
I HAVE DONE MY DUTY HONORABLY...
and there is nothing else to do
save watch the totally neurotic, if not psychotic,
campaign
playing out,
with tragic characters dying
under the lights of the media.

WE NEED TO SHORTEN THE CAMPAIGN PROCESS ...
IT IS JUST RIDICULOUS...AND IT ALLOWS NEUROSIS TO CREEP IN.

It is JUST PLAIN TIRESOME AND WITHOUT MERIT
AND HAS DRAGGED ON WAY TOO LONG
AND REDUCED POLITICS TO BLACK AND WHITE FEARS,
A CONSTANT BARRAGE OF LIES AND DECEITS,
AND PALIN'S TITS n ASS INADEQUACY AND NAUSEATING CUTENESS,
LEAVING THE DIALOGUE TO MINDLESS DIATRIBES
AND ENDLESS POLLING DISHONESTY AND CONFLICTS
BETWEEN ABC, MSNBC, CNN AND FOX...
WHO JUST CAN'T RESIST THE "TOM BRADLEY EFFECT!"

I voted here by mail in ballot over two weeks ago,
and this election is a dead horse,
being beat upon by bigots,
the insanity of Palin believing in her own PR,
the pathetic figure of McCain trying to scratch his way
out of the unethical hole into which he has dug himself,
Biden who cannot pick and choose his words, and
who is being supplanted by Hillary on the trail with Obama,
who, HIMSELF, is trying to keep his head above Republican DISTRACTIONS
who fear a conversation on real issues
and which distractions seek to suppress the issues....

When the media dwells on McCain's psychotically angry sibling (like himself),
When the media dwells on Palin's goddamned party-paid wardrobe,
When the media dwells on Joe, the not-a-plumber Plumber,
When the media dwells on the "impending doom"
of a Black uprising
(even on NPR),
which uprising will supposedly happen whether Obama wins or looses,
because Blacks "can't control themselves in either eventuality ... "
THAT WAS THE CLEAR DISCUSSION INFERENCE ...
I was totally surprised by such an insulting presentation by NPR,
under the guise of intellectual pursuit of some so called
social political understanding!

I am being JUST A LITTLE UNFAIR to NPR,
but not by much!
I was driving on the freeway on my way to work one morning,
and nearly drove off the roadway, when I heard it.

THERE IS NO SOCIAL RESPONSIBILITY IN THE MEDIA...
NONE. The media has clearly lost its mind and direction.

IT IS TIME FOR ME TO JUST DROP OUT ...
AND MAYBE DO A LITTLE DRUGS!
OR GET LAID,
CUZ THERE SURELY AIN'T NO POINT
IN ME BEING ANY PART OF THIS CAMPAIGN PROCESS
AND CERTAINLY AIN'T NO POINT IN ME
LISTENING TO ALL OF THESE TALKING HEADS ON TV or NPR,
WHO DON'T KNOW THEIR ASSES FROM HOLES IN THE GROUND
AND ARE INCITING PEOPLE TO NEAR RIOTS,
RATHER THAN COVERING THE ISSUES...

They want to talk about WHAT IFs,
while the WHAT AREs are being ignored!

McCain will win votes at ANY COST, EVEN HIS COUNTRY...
The Media will win market share at ANY COST, EVEN THIS COUNTRY...
And the People and This Country
have become Bastard Children and Orphans
WITHOUT ANYONE TAKING RESPONSIBILITY
or CARING.

So...We are dropping out...
NO MORE POLITICS AND NO MORE CAMPAIGNS INVADING THIS HOME!
We have not watched MSNBC or FOX for over a week,
and have only dropped in on CNN to watch the market.

Thank God for Colin Powell's level headed assessment of the choices, and
Thank God for the economy going into the toilet....
I would have never guessed that reason would have come from Powell,
nor that the single reason for a vote for Obama would be a failing Economy:
but :)
these two single factors may be the only things
that get Obama into the Oval
and saves us from the further evils of
Republican Courts,
Republican Evil Jockeying for Big Business interests
and personal financial gain at the people's EXPENSE,
at the expense of the literal destruction of this country's financial fabric
and the WHOLE OF THE WORLD ECONOMY...

So maybe a Recession is just what we needed
TO WAKE US UP FROM OUR LETHARGY.
Why does it ALWAYS TAKE A PEARL HARBOR
TO WAKE UP THE PEOPLE OF THIS COUNTRY?!

I am still not impressed with Colin...
He should have known that he was working for assholes,
long before now...HE ACTUALLY PRAISE CHENEY AT ONE POINT!
I think he is a good and moral man...
but a little SLOW to perceiving reality in the moment!
The handwriting was and has been on the wall
long before his fairly recent epiphany..
so...
I'll not give him more credit than he deserves
as a Johnny Come Lately!
But COME LATELY better than not at all.

One last comment...

I think it speaks to who we are as individuals
and as a singular nation of this world,
that a man who is half white and half black,
with a glass of Chardonnay in his hand
IS nevertheless ... BLACK ...
and ALL BLACK if you would believe the MEDIA/PR that is out there.

Obama is being painted in such a way as to generate FEAR
... and McCain IS part of this deceit AND HE KNOWS IT ...
and that makes him and Palin flat out evil.

As a matter of fact...
Obama is just BARELY blacker than I am,
and I have the whitest ol' ass in Los Angeles :)

I just wanted to end on a LIGHTER REALITY note!

I am OUT of this current campaign politics until voting results are in.
Most of the stuff I am getting is just REHASH or CRAP...
even from the NYTimes and Washington Posts and Huffinpuff :) ...
TOO MANY BAD VIBES!
and nonsense.

I am simply trashing my subscription emails until election day is over.

It is enuf to say that
IT JUST IS NOT POSSIBLE TO VOTE FOR ANYONE OTHER THAN OBAMA.

Have a nice Sunday ...
Am going to go out and smell the fresh air for the day :)
GET POLITICS OUT OF MY MIND!

Pols, Pundits, Please Just Tell Us What You Really Think

We continually have candidates and their surrogates saying things like this:

No, I don't think he/she lacks integrity, but he/she says one thing and does another.

No, I don't think my opponent is a liar, but he/she keeps saying things he/she knows are untrue.

No, I don't think he/she is a [elitist, racist, etc.], but his/her comments are.

Must we really allow these politicians to continue to play these stupid games? Can't we get them to take a stand and go on the record as to what they really think of their opponents instead of engaging in all this childish innuendo?

And the same goes for journalists and pundits. If you keep raising the issues of flag lapel pins, fiery pastors and ex-Weather Undergrounders, even after the candidate has addressed those issues multiple times, and then continue to dog the issue even after having examined his personal history, read his writings and listened to his speeches, then maybe you should arrive at a conclusion about whether you think he is an America hating terrorist sympathizer, show the evidence upon which that conclusion is based, and say so outright - or just shut up, move on, and address those things that are factual, real and important to the American people.